Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Hello from down in the empty nest

Our son, Daniel married Erin Maree on December 17, 2005. We now have a wonderful daughter and they make a beautiful couple. Everyone kept saying it was really going to be lonely around here without him and they would be praying for us and if we needed to talk just give them a call or drop them an email. I wondered what all the fuss was about. I just winked and told everyone not to worry about me and Ed. WE HAVE PLANS!! *smile* I'll leave the rest to your imagination!

I always tend to go into denial at first when faced with a life change, whether it was the death of my dad or my mom or our family dog or.....well, you get the idea. But it all usually comes crashing in on me at the most inopportune moment. When my dad passed away I was so busy helping my mom adjust, that I ignored my own grief and ended up breaking down one day while I was in line at the BMV getting my license stickers. A close friend offered their condolences and that was all it took for the dam to break. With my mom, I did a little better. I allowed myself to grieve after awhile. And when our family pet died, we all cried and cried and cried. I have learned that grieving is a natural part of life.

Or at least I thought I had learned that valuable lesson, until the boy got married. I was doing fine. Things were going great. Then, it happened. Overnight. One day he was here. The next he was gone. No more singing in the shower. No more coming in the door like a whirlwind, singing, happy, asking how my day was. "Hey Mom!" "Hey Pops!" Heading straight for the refrigerator, grabbing something to drink, a snack, heading off to his room to play PS2 football-Madden or NCAA-does that sound right? (I don't know much about that stuff)

No more singing us to sleep at night, many times hymns, or telling us silly stories or making stupid noises or saying lines from movies to keep us laughing. Sometimes Ed and I had to bury our faces in our pillows so he wouldn't hear us laughing anymore because as long as he could hear us laughing he would keep it up!

Yes, those days are gone......what's the big deal? We'll still see him. We still see eachother at church. He'll call. We'll call him.
What a change has taken place here in the Cavinee household. We've shed more than a few tears since December 17. I've seen my dear husband cry more since the wedding than I have in 20 years of marriage, but you know, for lack of a better word, a preciousness has come into our marriage since Daniel is gone. We are closer than I ever thought possible. There have been times when we have just looked at eachother and the tears have welled up. We just miss him. We miss the life of him in our home. But he is happy. He is forging a new life for himself and his new wife. They are making their home and life together, with the help of the Lord. We have done our job well and now he has gone.... flying...... a little eratically at times, but he is determined. He has direction. And he has a helpmeet by his side and the Lord with them both.

As for me and Ed...*wink*....we 're having fun discovering new ways to use the newly available space in this empty nest, but that's another topic for another post! *smile*


Anonymous said...

Ahhhh Jewel I read your little life bio everyday. I don't want to hear this one because I know that my time will come. I will miss the door open to..."Hi, dad I gotta go to the bathroom".

All I can give you is {{{hugs}}}. One words comes to mind...Grandbabies!!!

We love ya.

Tony & Becky

Jewel said...

Okayyyy....let's get something straight here.....we ain't ready for grandbabies yet,k? Oh, who am I kiddding? Grandbabies will be wonderful but not right now. They have college to finish and they just need to get more settled into their married life and all and get steady jobs. But if and when those little cuties come along, we will absolutely love 'em to death!
Thank you for the hugs. I needed them!

Theresa said...

I know where you are coming from, although empty nest did not last very long for us. (Mom moved in just about the time that Jessica and Robbie celebrated their 1st anniversary and the birth of David Riley.) Ross and I are still learning to reinvent time in our schedule for each other and for some very long put off hobbies. Ross is building his very first HO train layout in the basement. I am still trying to finish some half-done sewing and crocheting projects. However, we've spent a few times crying about the lack of "kid noise" in our lives. 'Course now, we just kidnap David Riley!!!