I don't know why exactly but I have been in this funk for the past several days. *sigh* I think the constant pain wears me down after awhile as the pain medicine I have been taking just kind of dulls the pain. I know there are many other people who are so much worse off than me, yet I have to deal with where I am, you know? I am trying my best.....I am. Monday afternoon I went for my 4 month check-up at Dr. Keller's. He is the best doctor. He changed my pain med from Darvocet to Ultram. Two Ultram does seem to be giving me more relief. My blood pressure is great: 110/80! Aside from the pain in my back,hips, and legs, I am in good health, for which I am thankful to the Lord each day. After my doctor's visit, I went for a mammogram. Oh, joy and gladness!! *grin* About 4 months ago, I found a small lump in my right breast and have had some pain, so I thought it best to get checked. Dr. Keller said he doesn't think it is anything to be concerned about. I'll keep you posted. I should know within a week.
I had some errands to run after all of this and by the time I got home I was worn out. It was so hot and humid Monday.
Anywayyyy, I do believe my mood is improving. I am trying to get more rest. Yet, I feel that I have to be sure to be active enough, you know??? So where is the balance???
Sometimes, I just want to stay home and kind of shut myself away from everyone and everything because it takes so much effort to do anything and it hurts. But I am a social person at heart. Sooooooo.......I make myself get out there and mix it up for my own good. Like last night......we had our monthly ladies' meeting at church. I almost called off. I was hurting pretty intensely, even with pain medicine. BUT.......I got myself gussied up, grabbed my dessert and went. And I am glad that I did! We had such a great time! We prayed together, encouraged one another, ate some good food, played games, and Sis. Martin had just the devotion that I needed to hear and it was almost entirely scripture....encouraging, strengthening scripture.
When I am down in the "mully-grubs", I tend to put on this "face". You know what I am talking about. I can't let others see me down and struggling. But then I realize that I just have to let people "in" and last night I did. I shared with the ladies what I have been going through and they were all so kind and encouraging to me and today, I feel so much better.
I often remember what Paul said:
"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. " Romans 12:10
I am trusting in the Lord and His word to bring me through, to help me stand, to strengthen me each day.
"He's my hope in this world;
He's my lasting joy untold;
He's my strength in time of trouble and storm;
His love will keep me from harm."