Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Monday, Monday, Can't Trust That Day

I was taken aback just a bit yesterday by how down I felt. I was so blue and it seemed that just about every thought I had was negative in some way. It didn’t help that I was in quite a bit of pain and nothing could alleviate it. The day was dreary and rainy. I thought of all the people who are not ready to meet the Lord, all of those who have left the truth, so many of my loved ones not ready to meet the Lord, acting as though they have all the time in the world to serve the Lord. A couple of families who come to our church have either stopped coming or have not been coming very much and I have been grieving over them. I just don’t understand when these things happen. I know life gets busy. I understand that people get their feelings hurt. Still….I want my friends and family and people to be ready to meet the Lord, so much and to experience Him personally and have a relationship with Him like I do. I ran into a couple of people I know when I was out yesterday and talked to them briefly. They both are retired and traveling and trying to save the world, ecologically speaking, and are doing well and look at me, serving the Lord as I do and I honestly think they think I am a space alien or something. They just don’t get it. And then there are those who just don’t believe “this way” anymore. They’ve been “set free”. Yet, there are those who have such respect for me and depend on me to walk this walk and live this Christian life and that is fine……I know of no other way. This is the only life I long to live….for Him. And then I thought of all that I used to do with the youth and then all that I can no longer do or cannot do easily or without pain. It was just a day in which I felt so unnecessary. I was missing the boy (Daniel). I learned he had been sick Sunday and was unable to go to church. We had gone to see him at work Saturday evening and he was not feeling well then. He just doesn’t need me like he used to and that is good. This is how it should be. We don’t see or talk to him and Erin nearly as much since they are going to church in Nelsonville now and he is back in school and she is working two jobs. Their lives are so unbelievably full. I just couldn’t get out of this funk. So yesterday evening rolled around and it was time to go to prayer at church. I thought about not going, though I knew I would……for all the good it would do. *feeble grin* You know THAT feeling, don’t you?

“Until I went into the sanctuary of God…..”

From the moment my knees hit the carpet, the tears came. I just told Him all about everything. I left no stone unturned. I poured my heart out to the One who truly cares and has the time to listen and knows all the answers. Psalm 73 is so awesome and encouraging, I am going to post it here in its entireity:
Psalm 73
1Truly God is good to Israel, even to such as are of a clean heart.
2But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped.
3For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
4For there are no bands in their death: but their strength is firm.
5They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they plagued like other men.
6Therefore pride compasseth them about as a chain; violence covereth them as a garment.
7Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish.
8They are corrupt, and speak wickedly concerning oppression: they speak loftily.
9They set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue walketh through the earth.
10Therefore his people return hither: and waters of a full cup are wrung out to them.
11And they say, How doth God know? and is there knowledge in the most High?
12Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches.
13Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocency.
14For all the day long have I been plagued, and chastened every morning.
15If I say, I will speak thus; behold, I should offend against the generation of thy children.
16When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me;
17Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end.
18Surely thou didst set them in slippery places: thou castedst them down into destruction.
19How are they brought into desolation, as in a moment! they are utterly consumed with terrors.
20As a dream when one awaketh; so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou shalt despise their image.
21Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins.
22So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee.
23Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand.
24Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.
25Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.
26My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.
27For, lo, they that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee.
28But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works.

The Lord and His precious word are truly the answer to the wide array of life's difficulties.

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