A birthday remembrance rant

*taking a deep breath*
I mentioned Ed's birthday to Daniel last week and told him not to forget it and he acted shocked that I would even think that he would miss his dad's birthday. I know Daniel. So I called him yesterday to see if he was coming up anytime and he said he would be coming by after he played football from 5:30-7:30 yesterday evening. Erin wouldn't be coming because she would be sleeping which I understood. Daniel finally showed up about 8:15 last night, no card, no little gift of some kind and I'm not even sure he wished his dad a happy birthday. He was here for about a twenty minutes. Brian, his brother-in-law was with him.
Well, what I found out later was that Ed had given him money so that he and Erin could buy a sleigh bed that they have been wanting and needing. They had asked us some time ago if we would buy it for them and it could be their Christmas present this year and they have been needing a new bed. They bought the mattress and boxsprings.
Soooooo, I got to wondering if he would have even stopped by if it had not been for getting the money for the bed. *sigh* I know that sounds awful but I can't help it. Just bein' honest here.
I raised this boy better than this. It isn't like I expected him to go out and rent a marching band or set off fireworks for his dad's birthday but sheesh!
Soooooo, as Ed and I were getting ready for bed.....well, actually Ed was in bed reading and I was getting ready for bed and quietly ranting.....have any of you been there/done that? *feeble grin* I told Ed that we should do the same for Daniel when his birthday rolls around (Jan. 3). No card, no gift, no money, no nothin' and see how it floats with the boy. And then these nagging words starts scrolling through my mind, annoyingly: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Yeah, okay, right. So like I was saying: What would he think if we just kind of skirted past his birthday with little or no acknowledgment? To which Ed replied, "You KNOW you aren't going to do that, Jewel" Oh yeah? Well, ok, you're probably right but I would sure like to.
And about this early Christmas gift of a sleigh bed. We aren't doing Christmas early like this next year. We will exchange our gifts on Christmas or Christmas Eve.
It's just that I raised this boy better than this. He's always given his dad a neat card of some kind and done something for him. I dont' know....maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. I'm just a little disappointed in him. And after all that his dad does for him and would do for him. But then it is just a birthday. But it was his FATHER'S birthday. I told Ed not to remind him of my birthday which is a couple of weeks away and lets just see if he remembers it. To which Ed replied, "Now are you sure you dont' want me to remind him?" I didn't say anything because it occurred to me that I might be really hurt if he completely forgot and didn't call or come around or anything on my birthday. Gosh, I don't know what to think anymore. I keep telling myself that it doesn't really matter, but then a part of me feels that it does. What do you think, oh wise people out there? Any words of wisdom for this empty-nester mother who is kinda struggling here with this young man she loves so much?