Hospital happenings

When I went in on the morning of Oct. 1 at 5:15am to have my first hip replacement, I was a bit unsure of what to expect but I wasn't particularly nervous because I felt that I was in a very good hospital with a very capable staff.

Sooooo, they took me back to the pre-op area, drew the curtain around my bed and told me to undress and put on my hospital gown and little cap thingy, got situated on my bed and all covered up. Danielle, my nurse came in, took my vitals, hooked me up to a thing or two and then proceeded to get an IV started in my left hand. A cute, young Dr. Reno came in and introduced himself as my anethesiologist. You know you are getting older when all of your doctors and nurses are young enough to be your children or, God forbid, grandchildren. Dr. Reno informed me that he would be giving me a spinal in a few minutes and helped me set up on the edge of the bed. Danielle was getting ready to put something in my IV and I asked her what it was. She said it was just something to help me relax so Dr. Reno could give me my spinal. That's the last thing I remember. Oh yes, it helped me relax alright! Whew!!

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in recovery, sooooo groggy and my mouth soooooo dry. I heard this *beep....beep.....beep* and a nurse saying, rather loudly, I might add, "We need you to take nice, deep breaths, Jewel." Breathing deeply. Breathing deeply. I don't want to breathe deeply. I want to sleep. Drifting off again. "Jewel, we need you to breathe deeply. When you hear the beep, that means you're not breathing deeply enough." Uh-huh. N-k. Breathe deeply. Wanna sleep. Breeeeeathe deeply. So sleepyyyyy.......*beep...bee...* Breeeeeathe. Oh, please just let me sleep. "We need to get you awake, Jewel." N-k. Breathing deeply. Deep breath. Didn't know it could be so difficult to breathe deeply. *beep....beep...beep* Will someone shoot that beeping thingy? Drifting off to sleep.....*beep...beep....beep...* Okay, getting a little aggravated as much as I can get aggravated in this numb, groggy state. *deeeep breath....deep breath...* This went on and on until they were finally satisfied that I was coming out of the anesthesia sufficiently, so they took me to my room.

I don't remember caring about how I looked, where I was going, who was going to be there when I got there. I just wanted to sleep. Right. It was not to be. Except in pain pill-induced small increments. But it was good sleep, let me tell ya. They were constantly doing something to me, checking something, giving me something, asking me something. I have never and let me stress NEVER in my entire life been asked by so many perfect strangers if I had passed gas in my day and a half stay in the hospital. But I came to find out that this was a pre-requisite to going home. Really? LOL Oh yes. Now, this might be a little indelicate but it used to be that you had to have a BM but now they just want you to pass gas. My, but they have lowered their standards, hm? LOL

To be continued......