Saturday, June 05, 2010

The economy is sooo bad that....

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen..

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!


I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

The United States Border Patrol is asking citizens to keep on the lookout

for a red 1951 Chevy that they suspect is being used to smuggle

illegal immigrants across the border from Mexico

and into points along the U.S. Border.

If you see the vehicle pictured below

and have reason to believe that it is

the suspect vehicle,

you are urged to contact your

local police department


the U. S. Border Patrol.


Teresa Dawn said...

Lol! Thanks for the laught!

Sir Nottaguy-Imadad said...

I told my wife that if you didn't post this on your blog, I just might have to "borrow" it and post it on mine. Funny Stuff.

Jewel said...

You are welcome, you two! Go ahead and post it, Sir! I'm sure you have people who read your blog that don't read mine! :-)
I especially liked the last one about driving a truck! :-)

Barbara H. said...

Funny! I had seen an abbreviated version of this -- love the "quarter ouncer" at McD's!

Mary said...

Ha! I hadn't seen that before! Too funny!

Stephani said...

Grinning ear to ear!

Janera Jepson said...

Hi Jewel-
My name is Janera Jepson and I host the new Wednesday meme Wednesday Wickedness ( Don't let the name throw you. We are a family oriented meme that's similar to Linda's Random Dozen. We base our questions each week on quotes from someone famous. This week is Frank Sinatra. Since Linda is taking time off I thought I'd invite you to play during the hiatus. We always post on Tuesdays (we're up now!) so players can play on either day. We hope that you will join us! :)


Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

Too funny!

Mrs. NB

ClassyMomma said...

These were great! Thanks for sharing them!