Tuesday, August 07, 2007

It was bound to happen

Just coming off of a week of Campmeeting, I was feeling pretty good about myself spiritually. Felt renewed, inspired, but something felt a bit off-kilter in my spirit. I just couldn't quite put my finger on it. Bro. Cook preached his heart and soul out Sunday and I just felt so inadequate musically or "worshipfully" to accompany him. Then came Monday and I found out just how lacking I am. I went to the church to spend time in prayer, needing to close myself away with the Lord. In the midst of this, I asked the Lord to direct me to a scripture or passage that would help me. Without a doubt, He directed me to I Corinthians 13 (the love chapter, it is called) Now, I know what it says.....mostly.....and like a stubborn child I told the Lord, "I know what it says. I don't WANT to read it." Because I knew I was in for some chastisement. But......I read it.......and read it again......and have read it several times since. And have been smitten in my heart mightily because I am so far from what He wants me to be. He is so holy and so loving and compassionate. And that compassion extends to me so freely and fully. Where would I be without it? I would have no hope. There is an old song that the choir sang when I first came into the church. Part of it goes like this:
"And if I have not charity,
If love does not flow through me,
Jesus, reduce me to love....."
I want to be like Him. A reflection of Him. To be genuine. Right now......there's wayyyyy too much of me in the way, I'm afraid. "He must increase but I must decrease." John 3:30


Aidan said...

Where would we be without love, without love we have nothing. John Lennon comes out with this 2000 years later and we as a people still dont get it, divide by our own petty strugles of a common ancestory. Ugg

Love is all we need.

Jewel said...

Hey, Aidan....yes, love covers a multitude of sins and it seems it should be so easy to do...love...but then we are human and prone to many shortcomings. I am so thankful to be in a relationship with a God who loves me in spite of myself, just like my wonderful husband. They both love me when I am most unlovable and that is the greatest gift of all.

Jana Dolan said...

Isn't is such a blessing to have a Heavenly Father that loves us enough to correct us when we need it?? However, sometimes hard to swallow. I still feel better when he is done correcting me...(usually I was already feeling bad from guilt before he corrected me) It's a load off of your shoulders when he just does it! It's like being a kid and waiting for the spanking after church. You know it's coming, let's just go home and get it over with. The anticipation!! OOhhhh But God is still good to us. I enjoyed seeing you at camp! I love ya!

Jewel said...

Hi Sis. Jana.....yes, He knows what He is doing, that is for sure. Oh, and how well I remember waiting for the spanking "when dad got home". Argh! Love you, too, girl!

~Tr@cy~ said...

The Lord has been talking to me about some "areas" too. Ouch. I'm thankful for his ((loving)) correction though. Our God is an awesome God.

Jewel said...

May He never stop working on us as we strive to be more like Him, Sis. Tracy!! Yes, He is unbeliveable!